Some people might be confused why am I so obsessed with music (when I can't even play any goddamn instrument). Bagiku, musik adalah caraku merayakan hidup - salah satunya, dengan menyematkan memori mengenai orang lain dalam lagu-lagu tertentu. Dengan begitu, saat orang tersebut sudah tiada, I can always listen to that one particular song and feel their presence back in my heart and my mind.
But sometimes, it also works like a boomerang. Kerap kali aku tidak berani mendengar suatu musik atau bahkan suatu band lagi, karena entah kenapa bagiku jadi sangat sulit untuk mengikhlaskan kepergian sang 'pemilik' lagu itu dalam benakku. It was as if they were still alive in between the lyrics and the instruments, their spirits carrying on with me in every step I take.
Sampai hari ini, aku belum berani kembali mendengar Avenged Sevenfold. Kenapa? Karena dalam band tersebut tersemat kenanganku dengan almarhumah kakak panitia dari sebuah lomba Scrabble yang aku ikuti di Pekanbaru, dan saat itu menjadi teman mengobrolku mengenai A7x yang sedang aku gilai. Masih teringat jelas di pikiranku saat aku SKSD bicara dengannya karena ia memutar lagu A7x di speaker, dimana akhirnya ia merekomendasikan lagu A7x yang berjudul 4.00AM untuk kudengarkan.
It's four in the morning, you got one more chance to die.
Like beautiful stories, the greatest chapters flew right by.
There comes a day when we will find out for ourselves,
that once we had the words to say, there's no one left to tell
I know why you're running away...
Same goes to Lana del Rey, the favorite singer of a late best friend of mine. He jokingly told me that he was confused of my preference in musical genre and wondered "lagu kau tu berat, nggak sakit telinga kau denger rock gitu?". He then suggested me to listen to Lana del Rey instead, whose song 'Love' was his favorite.
I really did listen to it at the time, but didn't look so close into the lyrics 'til he finally left us all behind;
You get ready, you get all dressed up
to go nowhere in particular
back to work or the coffeeshop
doesn't matter, 'cause it's enough
to be young, and in love...
It was both beautiful and heartbreaking to figure out how much he loved the concept of being young, and in the end, managed to stay forever young. Perhaps they weren't exaggerating when they made the saying "you are what you listen to". Not to point out how the other one's favorite song was about the choice you had to make in 4.00AM; to either run away from your problems and take your own life, or decide to stay 'til your time comes. I'm glad that, in her case, it turns out to be the latter.
As for me... well? I guess I'd love to be remembered everytime y'all listen to a TØP song. Still not sure which one specifically, though.
Ah, sudahlah, lebih baik aku bobo dulu saja. See you around, gengs.
It's almost 4:00AM, and I decide to keep on living.
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